Ah, the first date. It can be so exciting, and yet it can be terrifying at the same time! First dates may even feel awkward since you don’t know your date very well and feel the pressure to make a strong connection. You want everything to be perfect. You want to impress your date, be interesting, look great, meet your match, and do it all in a short amount of time. While you may or may not look forward to first dates, there are things you can do to make it less awkward, more fun, and rewarding.
If you are looking for the recipe for a perfect first date, here are some tips to making you first date an enjoyable, low-key, no-pressure adventure:
- Try to make a connection: Remember that the purpose of a first date is to meet someone new. So, just see if anything clicks or if any chemistry exists. Try to leave any pre-conceived notions and stress behind and just try to focus on the other person by being a good conversationalist and a good listener. Whether your date ends up being only a fun night out or the love of your life, the point is the same. Be relaxed, open and prepared to make a connection.
- Keep it light: To make your connection effective and not stressful, stay on the lighter side of things when it comes to topics. Of course you can talk about anything you’d like, but there are topics that will make the night more successful. For one, avoid the ex-talk. You’re meeting someone new, and it’s best to show that person that there’s room for them in your life. If you dwell on your ex, your date will feel uncomfortable, even if you say something positive. And if you speak negatively of your ex, it doesn’t give your date a very good impression of you, no matter how bad your experience with your ex might have been. There will be plenty of time to discuss past relationships at a later date, if things progress, but on a first date, the best advice is to keep things light.
- Dress to be you: When it comes to fashion on a first date, be authentic to who you are. I don’t need to get into the specifics of what clothes to wear or not wear, but focus on wearing something that feels like “you.” Dress attractively, but be sure to dress appropriately at the same time. If heels or fancy suits aren’t you, you don’t need to wear them to impress someone. Do your best to fit in with the style of the venue, but you don’t need to wear something just because you feel like you “should.”
- Ask your date questions: The purpose of the first date is to get to know your date so don’t be afraid to ask real, open-ended questions. At the same time, be mindful to not make it an interrogation. Ask questions that require more than just “yes” or “no” answers. By asking thoughtful questions about their jobs, hobbies, likes, dislikes, etc. you will connect with your date and keep the conversation alive. This may seem like an obvious tip, but too often we get caught up in superficial conversations that don’t tell us anything about anyone. Get to know your date in a fun, non-threatening way!
- Answer your own questions: Is this person a good match for me? So often, we focus on our date and worry if they’re finding us an appropriate match for them. Don’t forget that the date works both ways. Don’t work so hard to impress your date about you that you sacrifice yourself to be something you’re not. You’re also there to learn about them and see if they’re right for you! At the end of your time together, even if you’ve really wow-ed and impressed your date and they want to see you again, remember that you have a choice as well.
- Be the real you: The first date is a chance to get to know someone new, and your date is there for the same purpose. Be yourself! The truth of who we are always comes out eventually, so be the best version of you. Stay true to who you are. Being authentic is key to making a real connection. When you’re acting in an authentic way, you and your date can truly get a sense of how strong an attraction you have and how you are.
The best first dates are those where both of you can truly enjoy one another’s company. It’s normal to be a little bit nervous, but take comfort in the fact that this is an opportunity to authentically put yourself out there and learn about someone new. Use the tips above on your next first date to create a genuine, no stress connection, whether you end up dating the person long term or not.[fruitful_sep]
Jessica Nicklos is the founder of Better Half Matchmaking in South Florida. Jessica’s passion is bringing people together. Through personalized matchmaking and dating coaching, she works with singles to find their match and build a solid foundation for dating success. Jessica has a B.A. in Corporate Communication and a minor in Psychology from Duquesne University. She is a member of the Matchmaker’s Alliance, serves as director of the Premier Women’s Network of South Florida and as organizer of the Single Professionals of Northern Palm Beach County.
Jessica lives in Palm Beach County with her husband, Chad, and their dogs, Vida and Daisy.
Do You Want to Know the Recipe for a Perfect First Date? Try this Enjoyable, Low-key, No-pressure Adventure Advices to Make your First Date a Success